


completely and utterly delusional

by missillusional



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 05:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10915572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missillusional/pseuds/missillusional
Summary: A flash fiction series for Doublelift x Biofrost.





	1. The Five Stages of Grief

**i) Denial**

Peter’s words went in one ear and out the other. Words swam through his head, words Vincent never wanted to hear, words like “leaving” and “promise” and “you’ll be fine.” Words like, “I have a girlfriend.” Vincent was shaking his head no, no this couldn’t be happening, no you can’t tell me this the day that we lose Worlds, no you can’t do this to me, to us. Vincent brushed the tears off his face and walked briskly out the door of their hotel room. If he didn’t hear it, it wasn’t real. Itwasntrealitwasntrealitwasntreal.

 

**ii) Anger**

Vincent slammed the door of his master bedroom. Who cared if he was acting like a teenager? He was angry. Not at Peter of course, how could he ever be angry at him? No, he was angry at Regi, at Bjerg, at everyone else who let Peter leave like he didn’t even matter to them. Like he wasn’t the glue that held the team together, that held him together. As he fiddled impatiently with the lock on his door, he could hear a pair of footsteps coming up the stairs. He heard a knock on the door and his name being called once, twice, and then an eventual sigh and then the sound of what he knew to be Bjergsen’s or Hauntzer’s or sometimes even Svenskeren’s feet walking away again. He knew that all his team wanted was for him to let them in, while all he wanted was just to break something.

 

**iii) Bargaining**

You can’t keep calling me at 2 am. Vincent heard that phrase a lot in the past weeks. But he couldn’t help it. He didn’t even care anymore that Peter was getting increasingly annoyed with him, as long as he still heard his voice. And every time, Vincent would respond with pleas and compromises, anything to get Peter to come back to LA with him. Promises of more money and more fame, more success waiting at their fingertips. Until finally, came those disgusting words again: “I have a girlfriend.” And Vincent’s choked reply: “But you could’ve had me.”

 

**iv) Depression**

Vincent wondered how long it would take before Bjergsen tried to help him get out of bed again. Usually, Soren came at around 10am every morning, but he was slipping in his routine. Yesterday, Bjergsen came at 11 and today it was already 12 and the house was eerily silent. So Vincent reluctantly got out of bed by himself. As he monotonously went through the motions of getting ready, all he could think about was what it would be like if Peter was still here. What it would be like to sleep next to him and wake up with him and feel his body and touch his hair and run his fingers over his strong back and stroke his-, Vincent shook his head, it was already too late for that. But just the thought of Peter being close enough to touch made him want to curl up in his bed and sleep until the next day came.

 

**v) Acceptance**

And the next day did come. And soon Vincent found that a lot of days had passed without Peter. Even though some days, all he wanted was to be with him again, some days went by without even a thought of Peter at all. When before, Vincent had to struggle daily to contain his sobbing and usually only managed to restrain himself after crying for the good part of an hour. Abruptly, Vincent realized one day with surprise that a whole month had passed since that fateful day when Peter told him that he was leaving. And it still wasn’t okay. Perhaps it would never be okay. But with effort, he tried to accept that it happened, because he couldn’t change it even if he tried, and even if he gave everything he had to some higher power, that it would never bring Peter back. But hey, he only cried for fifteen minutes today, and maybe that was good enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've finished reading this, and you think that it seems familiar, you might have read it on my tumblr blog! I will be posting all of my fanfics on ao3 from now on, and exclusively posting more mature fics here instead of tumblr. However, I also wanted to provide a way for non-tumblr users to read stories I have already written so this short piece and the next one are ones that I have posted on tumblr before, but any stories after that will be completely new!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> (This fic was written last December.)


	2. Almost

It was an almost.

 

Almost together.

 

Almost forever.

 

Almost, was when Peter thought about how much he loved hearing Vincent laugh.

 

Almost, was when Vincent stole a hoodie from Peter’s closet because his was in the wash, but never returned it because he loved how it reminded him always of its owner.

 

Almost, was when Peter absentmindedly ran his hands through Vincent’s hair and realized how good it felt. 

 

Almost, was when Vincent and Peter shared a bed when the hotel room only had one. 

 

But, the almosts were never more than just passing glances and lingering hugs. Shared laughter and knowing smiles. 

 

That was, until Peter got a girlfriend. And Vincent  thought that it was the first time in his life that he experienced jealousy, though he never really puzzled out why. So, he avoided his best friend and Peter, of course, was oblivious as always. Days went by, and Vincent still couldn’t figure what the pang in his stomach meant every time he saw the two of them together. Or why he felt the need to wrap his arms around what should’ve been his platonic friend, and never let go. Or even his desire to just kiss Peter on his stupid, trash-talking lips. So he let it go, and eventually Peter broke it off with his girlfriend, and Vincent came the close to realize that all of the “almosts” could have been “finallys.” Just, not close enough.

 

Then it was Peter’s turn to get “irrationally” jealous when he saw a gaggle of girls fangirling over Vincent at a fan meet. When he brought it up passive-aggressively later that night, neither of them could remember how they started fighting but there they were. But when the fight was over and they locked eyes, it was like they both knew what was going to happen next. They leaned in simultaneously and it was instinctive and sudden but it just felt so _right_. And maybe this story wouldn’t have ended in an almost if they weren’t interrupted by a knock on the door and the rest of the team bursting through the bedroom door. The sheepish jumps apart and refusal to look each other in the eye had their teammates wondering what was wrong. So then, they were both too embarrassed to talk about it the day after, and then the next day, and then the next. 

 

So then days turned to months and then months turned to years until one day, Vincent found himself opening a wedding invitation in the mail. “You are cordially invited to Peter and Bonnie’s wedding…” And ever the gentleman, he declined politely and with much thanks. He wrote their wedding card on expensive paper with pleasant courtesies and sealed the envelope with glue and a single tear. As he sealed it silently, he couldn’t help but write one word on the front, before tucking it into the mailbox and walking away from the past.

 

Almost, he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This fic was written last November.)


End file.
